Yesterday was a Bad Day

Yesterday was a really bad day, actually. To begin with, it was cold, cloudy, and wet outside. David was busy finishing up cleaning the remains of the sump pump's failure inducing flood while I worked on another chemo cap. Plus, I never did hear from St. Luke's as to a date and time for the additional scans that were ordered, or what time my surgery is scheduled for.

I don't remember what set me off; something minor that had nothing to do with anything, really, but I cried like a baby. Blubbered would probably be a better description. David, bless his heart, was gentle, concerned, patient, and...all around wonderful. When he asked what was wrong, I told him that I didn't know...that I just felt so fragile. I was a complete and total wreck. David simply took me by the hand and held me until the storm had passed and believe me, "it" was no simple little storm. I cried for what seemed like hours but was actually nowheres near that. I told David that he didn't deserve this (this whole cancer thing), and that I felt I was being selfish for being so focused on myself these days. I know...my words didn't make a whole lot of sense, were completely illogical, but David understood that and didn't condemn me for saying them. I told him that this is really serious stuff. It finally hit home. According to the ladies in my Ravelry Breast Cancer Support Group, this breakdown that I experienced is something that all of them also had, and is a part of the process. In other words, it was/is normal and expected.

I learned something wonderful yesterday, too, and that is that I don't have to put on an act or "be strong" with David. He understands and he loves me more than anyone I've ever known. Now, how lucky can a person get...to have someone who loves them like that?! Yea...I am definitely one lucky woman...one very blessed woman and I thank God for my husband, for my kids, and for my family and friends. Blessings!