I talked to Julia earlier, and then Mike a couple of hours ago. Yayyy!!! I feel better, now, knowing that the people closest to me know what's going on. I slept for a few hours this afternoon, but I'm still tired. It's weird. I don't want to feel this way; turning off and shutting down. I want to get all of my housework caught up, finish up the yardwork, and keep doing the things I should be doing. But all I can think about is how I wish I could sleep until the pathology report comes back. I was told two working days = Tuesday. Do you think I could be lucky enough that I'll hear something tomorrow?
I am grateful for family and friends for their kindness. The one thing I really don't want, no matter what happens, is for people to leave me alone out of "compassion" or fear or whatever. I went down to the Vet's Home to visit my dad (my mom was also there), and that was nice. My mom had big smiles and hugs...she's amazing! After I left my mom and dad in the dining room, I stopped for a few minutes to talk to my cousin, Bozena, who is one of the RNs there. I appreciate Bozena on different levels...for the family relationship, for her professional understanding and knowledge, and for her words of hope and caution. She's great!
Becca seems certain that I have cancer. Tonight, she wanted some ice cream. Shame on me for not having run the dishwasher today, so I gave her my water glass and told her to wash it out and she could use it to make herself a malt. She said "I don't want to get cancer." We're all struggling; trying to take things one day at a time, or even one minute at a time. Ben, bless his heart, took off for the woods today to say a rosary. He hasn't done that in several weeks. This whole thing has cat a pall over the whole family. I guess it's up to me (God give me strength) to get up tomorrow morning and get busy doing what needs doing. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best; live one day at a time and do the best you can with what you have.
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