Okay, so I was a little more productive today. Considering I really haven't gotten anything done in the last few days, that's really not saying much. I've been staying up as late as possible, hoping that I'll then be able to fall asleep for a while. I don't imagine that tonight will be any different. I haven't been eating and have lost another 5 pounds (believe me, I can afford to lose ten times that). Then I sleep later than I usually do, but that's okay. Sleep makes the time pass quicker. I hope, hope, hope, hope, hope! that the results are in tomorrow. This whole thing has been such a trial for my family and friends. I have been getting lots more hugs from Chelsea, Becca has been hovering, and Kirstin has called home once or twice a day from camp. Ben...he was the hard one. I didn't know what, or how to tell him. I finally told him tonight, that I'd had tests done on Friday. His first thought was that it was cancer, and "I don't want you to die, mom!" Poor kid dropped to the floor :-( But that's Ben. He's always been my "ten times" kid. When he's happy, he's ten times happier than a typical person. When he's sad or angry...he's ten times more. And when he's worried...he's exponentially more worried. You know, every now and then, but very rarely...I would wonder what it would be like to have a typical son; a boy who would play basketball and football, have friends, date, maybe get into a little trouble at school...but then I'd push that thought away. I have Ben. He has autism and adhd...he's loud, talks way too fast (I often have to play interpreter), doesn't necessarily care if his clothes are clean, ripped, or even on correctly at times...but he's my boy :-)
Anyways. My PA, Charlie Wall, called first thing this morning to ask how Friday's appointment had gone, and to tell me that he would call as soon as any results came in. So...again, we wait. But I do appreciate Charlie calling me right away. He's really jumped on this whole thing, which inspires confidence and promotes my trust. A few hours later, a nurse from St. Luke's Breast Center called to check on the wound etc. She told me that it might be Wednesday before we hear anything. Please God, let it be tomorrow so that we can all finally have some answers.
Nothing much new today...I peeled off the steri-strips and noted that the wound has closed and is healing well enough; no redness etc. It's not big; just a half inch or so. There is some bruising, and it still burns inside. I'm not crazy about the Tylenol; I've been using an ice pack which seems to relieve the pain just as well. I also notice some axial pain that radiates down the inside of my right arm to the elbow. I've been having sudden headaches in the same spot; just above my eye in the right frontal area. I'm sure it's all stress and anxiety.
On the good side...I've been getting some nice support from family and friends (old and new). Lots of prayers are being said, and healing being sent. I don't know if anyone reads this blog...but if you are (reading this), I want to thank you for your concern. Blessings on you and yours.
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