Ups and Downs and In Betweens

Since my last post there've been some ups and downs and...yea. I actually got out of the house for a while, one day, and it wasn't for a doctor's appointment. Yay! We went out to drop off a load of junk, then went to the grocery store, the Vet's Home so I could see my dad, and then to the pharmacy so I could pick up a new prescription. After that, I sat outside in the screen house and wrote out some thank you notes. (If you haven't received your Thank You note, yet, I apologize. I left the notes in the middle of the table in the screen house, and unfortunately...Gidget ate them so I have to start all over.) Pretty innocuous, all in all...but for me, it was a truly amazing day! I felt almost normal. Part of that was, I think, because I'd gotten 2 drains removed. Yippee! I only felt like half a cyborg, then. I had the last two drains removed this past Monday. One of them was becoming infected, and the stitches were breaking through the skin, so it was one of those "calls" where my surgeon decided to take the last two drains out. By Wednesday, I noticed a lot of swelling and noises that shouldn't have been there. I looked like I still had breasts...except they were coming out of my sides; very odd, and very awkward. I tried sleeping sitting up, hoping that would bring some of the swelling down, but it didn't. I ended up calling my surgeon and went in for an office visit (down to Duluth) today. He was a bit shocked at how much fluid (serumen) had accumulated just in the last 4 days. He did a needle aspiration (trust me, it wasn't bad at all. I'm still so totally numb that I didn't feel a thing) on both sides and removed a total of 410 cc or something like 13 ounces. When it comes to drains and their removal, he said you're basically danged if you do, and danged if you don't. Any time you have drainage tubes in, you run the risk of infection. Taking them out too soon can result in the build up of serumen. I have my regularly scheduled appointment with my surgeon on Monday. Hopefully, the internal drainage (for lack of a better term) will be substantially less than it was today. I'm praying really hard for that to happen. One thing he did tell me, is to not use my arms. Knitting, typing...that sort of thing is fine. But moving my arms around is what causes whatever to release serumen. My body needs to realize that whatever there was before that needed all of that, is no longer there and so...enough, already!

As for the rest...I'm feeling pretty useless. I can't move my arms much, but I can drive (yay!), as long as I don't take any pain pills etc. This is good because I have three appointments next week. The surgeon on Monday, Radiologist on Tuesday, and Oncologist on Thursday. These last two appointments are consultations, only. I won't be able to start any chemo or radiation until there's no more drainage and who knows how long that will be? I'll be driving myself to these appointments, so I'm going to try not to sleep so much the next couple of days.

I think part of the reason that I sleep so much is because I'm (like I said) feeling pretty useless, and because I'm bored. Even knitting doesn't hold or capture my interest like it normally does. So, yes, I have several chemo caps that some wonderful friends made for me, I have one that I've made, two that I've made but still need to be felted, and another that I've made but needs to be finished. Maybe that's what I'll do tomorrow. Who knows? I'm also working on a sort of shawl. It's a shawl pattern, but I'm using really big needles and very fine wool. The idea is that I'll be able to wear it much like a long cowl; hopefully somewhat disguising. I've looked at a lot of post-mastectomy "fashions" (notice how I placed fashions in " " ? There's a reason for that.) One style that I saw had a chest full of horizontal ruffles. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am definitely NOT a ruffly kind of person...unless, perhaps, the ruffles come in camouflage. Blessings!