Thursday, August 6, 2009
Wait and See
Wait and see. Three little words that contain a world of possibilities. Wait and see. At 3:00 p.m. tomorrow, I'll be down in Duluth with the goal of learning the type of abnormality I have on my right front/side. There is a lump that is 12 cm x 8 cm; causing inversion, puckering, and some pain. There is also a swolen lymph node. Wait and see.
Monday, August 3, 2009
When Does Cool Become Scarey?
Cool becomes scarey when your daughter rides off on the back of her boyfriend's new motorcycle...and not you, 30 years ago. Some revelation, huh? When we're young, we do all sorts of things that we later look back on as foolish, risky, and sometimes just plain dumb.
Kids (anyone under the age of...oh, say 25) think they're invincible. Life is full of promise, high expectations, excitement, and everything is done at warp speed. There are not enough hours in the day to do everything you want to do, when you're 17, or 18, or ... Then you grow up/grow old; sometimes they're one and the same, sometimes not. You have wisdom gained from experience, education, and 20/20 hindsight. It's the hindsight, I think, that can be particularly enlightening, as long as you don't dwell too long on the "what ifs" and "should haves," "could haves," and "would haves." Most of all, it's when you become a parent that you gain some of the greatest insight. Suddenly, your own parents become so much more intelligent, and you gain a wonderful perspective of what they went through when raising their own kids.
Parenting is tough (duh, eh?). I like to think that David and I each bring certain strengths to the table because of the way we were each raised. We have a good idea of how the other thinks, and the reasons why we are the way we are. In that, we compliment each other. David is, perhaps, a bit more willing to let our kids stretch their wings. I want to keep them home forever. Well, maybe not forever...it comes from that whole "mother the world" thing that I have. I just want my kids to be safe, happy, and become relatively well-adjusted adults. As usual, I'm probably over-analyzing things. I suspect this is true because I'm getting a headache. I think I'll end this post and go take an Advil. There's a bottle in my room with my name on it. It probably also says "Take 2 every four hours, or until your daughter is safely back home after her motorcycle ride."
Kids (anyone under the age of...oh, say 25) think they're invincible. Life is full of promise, high expectations, excitement, and everything is done at warp speed. There are not enough hours in the day to do everything you want to do, when you're 17, or 18, or ... Then you grow up/grow old; sometimes they're one and the same, sometimes not. You have wisdom gained from experience, education, and 20/20 hindsight. It's the hindsight, I think, that can be particularly enlightening, as long as you don't dwell too long on the "what ifs" and "should haves," "could haves," and "would haves." Most of all, it's when you become a parent that you gain some of the greatest insight. Suddenly, your own parents become so much more intelligent, and you gain a wonderful perspective of what they went through when raising their own kids.
Parenting is tough (duh, eh?). I like to think that David and I each bring certain strengths to the table because of the way we were each raised. We have a good idea of how the other thinks, and the reasons why we are the way we are. In that, we compliment each other. David is, perhaps, a bit more willing to let our kids stretch their wings. I want to keep them home forever. Well, maybe not forever...it comes from that whole "mother the world" thing that I have. I just want my kids to be safe, happy, and become relatively well-adjusted adults. As usual, I'm probably over-analyzing things. I suspect this is true because I'm getting a headache. I think I'll end this post and go take an Advil. There's a bottle in my room with my name on it. It probably also says "Take 2 every four hours, or until your daughter is safely back home after her motorcycle ride."
When? Where?
When I think of my kids, Robert, Ben, Kirstin, Chelsea, and Becca...I generally think of them as being little. It requires a conscious effort to see them as they really are. Good grief, does that ever sound familiar to me, now that I've said it. When Ben was very young, I was so busy seeing him as I wanted to, that I failed to see him as he really was. Hind sight, eh? It's 20/20. Reality proves that Robert is now 27 years old, Ben is 18, Kirstin is 17, Chelsea is 14, and Becca is 11. But to me, and often, Robert is still that little guy with the missing front tooth that came into my life when I married his dad. mmmm Nope. He's a grown man, now, with a life of his own and lives half the country away from us. Ben...is another story, in some ways. He graduated from high school, but lives at home and will continue to do so for the forseeable future. He has a job through a program at the DAC where he works at the recycling center in Two Harbors. It's a good thing because it's a program, it's not within walking distance of home (so he can't all of a sudden decide to leave work and go home), and it's giving Ben the chance to have a job and gain some independence. Ben's job is also giving the rest of the family the chance to gain a little independence (break?) from everything that goes along with his different ability/disability...whatever label you'd care to use. David and I have talked, and we're fairly sure that Ben will eventually be living in a group home, especially since we have heard there are homes in which the residents get to go fishing, snowmobiling, and wheeling (ATVs) which are pretty much the three things that Ben absolutely lives for. But that won't be for a while. He's not ready to leave home, and we're not ready to let him go.
Kirstin is still that little 3-year old who said, when I asked if I could hold her forever, "Momma, how 'bout three times forever?" But then I actually look at her and see this almost fully-grown, talented, responsible, and lovely young woman who will be graduating from high school next year and going on to college. Kirstin plans on spending two years at a community college, and then finishing up a degree in special education at a four year college.
Chelsea...she's my button. In some ways, she hasn't changed a great deal from when she was younger. She still wakes up happy as a clam every day, big smile on her face, and loves to give and receive hugs. As I've said before, physically at 5' 3 1/2" tall, she's very huggable. Chelsea is one of just two people I've ever known, who have absolutely known what they wanted to be when they grew/grow up. Chelsea wants to be a chef. The other person was my brother, Doug, who always wanted to be a cop. He is, that, in addition to being a sniper on his SWAT team, and a member of Minnesota's Honor Guard.
Becca is the baby, but it's kind of hard to keep that in mind considering that she's just 1/2" shorter than Chelsea, now. They could be twins in size, but there are three years between her and Chels. Becca is growing like the proverbial weed. I still see her, however, as she was at around age 2 when she had a head full of great big loopy curls. She looked like a bobble head doll, wearing her little pink Osh Kosh overalls. Today she's tall and lean, and a very good student who especially enjoys math and science.
So what I'd like to know, is: When did they grow up? Where was I?
Kirstin is still that little 3-year old who said, when I asked if I could hold her forever, "Momma, how 'bout three times forever?" But then I actually look at her and see this almost fully-grown, talented, responsible, and lovely young woman who will be graduating from high school next year and going on to college. Kirstin plans on spending two years at a community college, and then finishing up a degree in special education at a four year college.
Chelsea...she's my button. In some ways, she hasn't changed a great deal from when she was younger. She still wakes up happy as a clam every day, big smile on her face, and loves to give and receive hugs. As I've said before, physically at 5' 3 1/2" tall, she's very huggable. Chelsea is one of just two people I've ever known, who have absolutely known what they wanted to be when they grew/grow up. Chelsea wants to be a chef. The other person was my brother, Doug, who always wanted to be a cop. He is, that, in addition to being a sniper on his SWAT team, and a member of Minnesota's Honor Guard.
Becca is the baby, but it's kind of hard to keep that in mind considering that she's just 1/2" shorter than Chelsea, now. They could be twins in size, but there are three years between her and Chels. Becca is growing like the proverbial weed. I still see her, however, as she was at around age 2 when she had a head full of great big loopy curls. She looked like a bobble head doll, wearing her little pink Osh Kosh overalls. Today she's tall and lean, and a very good student who especially enjoys math and science.
So what I'd like to know, is: When did they grow up? Where was I?
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